Wednesday, May 6, 2009

It is with us all...lets face it positively

By Chiku Jere

This story tells how HIV and Aids got closer to my life, both as a journalist and an individual.
“I got infected because of the loving and caring I gave to other infected people,” my late mother confided in me, at a private mother-to-son talk. She got infected at the age of 70. ‘That old?’ one would ask- ‘Yes, it sees no age’ would be my answer.
Indeed I saw my mother bravely and positively battle with the disease for two years until she lost the fight last year on 1st December.

Her sickbed was a counselling room for all of us, her remaining children and other relatives, who came to visit her. She did not stop advising us on the trends of life, and the way we can pull them towards positive course.

While talking, in her eyes, you could see the strength of a hopeful woman, who was facing the reality of her ailing health with courage. She was still the joyful and God fearing woman I had known. She did not want anyone to show a gloomy face because of her ill-health.
“God, I’ve tried my part and I know you will reward me,” she could say with a smile, wanting those who were present to say ‘Amen’ in acknowledgement.

And this could bring a smile of contentment on her face. She would not mention of death but a pass-on; a pass-on to the land where good things were expecting her after a job-well-done on earth.

“I’ve done my job and yours is remaining,” she could tell me, as someone on whom she would pass the responsibility of looking after those who depended on her. Indeed, the whole job is left to me after her passing.

However, with her courage instilling words of wisdom, I look only for positive aspects of how I can positively face, and stand strong against the negative realities of this world.
Let me share with you how it all began.

HIV and Aids invaded our household as early as the 1990s.

My auntie, the only sister to my father, was suffering from incessant illnesses and needed someone to be close to take care of her. That someone turned out to be my ‘Mama’. It was traditionally an automatic responsibility for my mother to look-after her sick sister in-law.

Innocently, trying to play a good caring in-law she took the role whole heartedly. She knew what my auntie was suffering from for she was the one who had insisted of her having an HIV test amid denial from other relatives- which turned up positive. My auntie died under the care of my mom a year later.

However, her death was not to give anything for a breather to my mother. The disease was at her door step once again. This time it was my cousin; a son to my mother’s brother- my late uncle who died way back.

Once again, my mother took the responsibility of taking care of him after his mother (a wife to my late uncle) refused to take care of her own son. He lived for three years grappling, with the pangs of the disease until he exhausted all efforts and died of HIV and Aids related illnesses. He died very young at the age of 26. ‘Mama’ was the one taking care of this young man until his demise.

She thought it was done but she was wrong. Little did she know that the disease was moving closer and closer to her own home.

Mercilessly it jumped on her first born son. This was the last straw that was to mark the end of her tireless effort of being there for loved ones.

She now, was to be next in line. Mama, single handedly, struggled a lot to raise a family of five children, four sons and one daughter—effectively playing both roles as a mother and father.

For over ten years (1979 to 1989) that my father dad spent in jail as a political prisoner, she looked after us with the meagre monthly salary she was getting as a primary school teacher.

She managed to educate us until our father was released at the dawn of democracy.

Then the father died few years later heaping her once again with the job of looking after the children and some relatives.

As an old adage says “the love of a mother is greater than anything”. I came to believe this when my elder brother, the first born in the family, got sick.

There was some bad blood between my mother and my brother’s wife and my brother publicly disowned my mother.

But after sometime, my brother was sick and his wife abandoned him leaving him with a little boy-child which my mother took care of.

“He is still my son and I want to see my grandson,” she said.

She managed to trace my brother and brought him and the child back home. He was seriously ill with no one else to take him for medical treatment.

Mama’s fear was vindicated when my brother tested HIV positive. She strived to find food and treatment to, at least, pro-long the life of her beloved son. She could bath him, feed him, and stay all the way with him hoping and praying that his life would be spared.

All the way, my mother did not complain, but with that motherly love, did the job she strongly believed God gave her; thus to take care of the loved ones with real love.

The battle to sustain my brother’s life was sadly lost two years later.

Eventually Mama started getting unwell. She secretly went for HIV testing and when it was confirmed she was positive, she broke the news to the family. “This time, it is me,” this was what she said to me behind the closed door of her bedroom.

Mama believed she got infected while taking care of all the loved ones. “I do not regret doing that entire job. It was meant for me and who else?” she said.

God bless all those who place their lives at risk trying to take care of the sick.

But can’t the world find a way of protecting those who care for their loved ones infected with HIV and Aids?

AJAAH organises students’ debate

By Henry Haukeya

Association for Journalists Against HIV and Aids (AJAAH) recently organised an inter-secondary school Aids debate which was competed for by Blantyre Secondary School and Henry Henderson Institute students.

Under the topic ‘Multiple Concurrent Partnership’ the two teams outsmarted each other in an interesting debate ably coordinated by Malawi Television presenter Geoffrey Kapusa, popularly known as Mr. Splash.

Kapusa threw questions to each of the members of the two teams before engaging the audience, who also offered interesting views on the meaning of ‘Multiple Concurrent partnership’.

The panellists agreed that multiple concurrent partnership is to have more than one sexual partner and this has resulted in most people getting entangled in the cobweb of sexual partners’ network.

The most interesting part of the debate was when Kapusa asked the panelists what they could do when they discover that their partner was cheating on them.

“Dump him and look for another one,”Mhango from BSS responded sending the audience into stitches of laughter.

HHI’s John Mkwanda had contrary views, “Pray for the one who is cheating on you so that he or she should stop such kind of behavior.”

But the most exciting contribution came from the audience where one contributor said as a student the best way was to plan, set goals and work to achieve them.

AJAA also invited a specialist from Malawi Network of Aids Service Organisations MANASO, Ndaona Muyaya, to brief the students on the dangers of indulging in early sexual activities.
Muyaya took the students through a session of life skills.

“One life, One goal, One family” was the theme of his talk.

Muyaya told the students that any human being has one life to live and one family and need to have one goal.

He said life is about choices and advised them to make right choices.

“Choices you make today will spell out what you will become in future…Make choices that will make you realise your goals and aspirations,” Muyaya said amid handclapping from the students.

“You must also be prepared to face challenges of the choices that you make,” Muyaya said.
His parting words left the students in stitches as he said, “Please take care of your uncle’s property. Don’t give it out anyhow, for the best gift you can give your partner is your virginity”

AJAAH Chairperson Rex Chikoko said he was happy with the outcome of the debate being the first to be organised by the group.

He said AJAAH has lined up a number of activities aimed at raising awareness among various groups of the society.

“Students have always been sidelined on awareness because organisations work on assumptions that they are exposed to literature on HIV and Aids,” he said.

Chikoko said he was amazed with the interest that the students expressed in knowing more about HIV and Aids.

“I am encouraged with the response,” said Chikoko adding that the next session will cover issues of abstinence, being faithful and use of condom as demanded by some students.

The media has to lead by example

By Madalitso Kateta

As a journalist reporting HIV and AIDS I have covered many stories of other people that are positively living with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

As an inquisitive journalist, questions like. How did you catch the virus?How did it feel like when you were told that you are HIV positive? Andpresently how do you cope up with life now that you are positively living with the virus? These were part of the routine as I interviewed my news sources.

With time, I have now come to understand that we live in a world that may create sorrow when you believe you are enjoying the warm summer of your life.

A world where everybody is supposed to regret somehow. But is it worth regretting when you know the reality of your status?

So, how should I begin this story as it involves my own experiences with HIV and AIDS. Should I start by recounting how I have socialized with a number of members of the opposite sex?
Let me just tell you my story. I recently had the courage to go for an HIV Testing and Counselling session.

I have been on and off quiterecently and it never really occurred to me that the reoccurring illnesseshad been the result of HIV/Aids.

I did not think that I, a person that had so much knowledge on how HIV was transmitted and had written so much on how other people were coping up with life after testing HIV positive, would one day sit down writing a story about how it feels like to live with the virus.

In fact, it now astounds me that I, a person who felt that at first, could noteasily come into terms with the reality of living positively with HIV, have come to accept my present status: I am HIV positive.

Sometimes I laugh at myself when I recall how I used to make fun of how others were suffering from the virus. Yes, I remember that with some of my friends we could laugh at people positively living with the virus.

But the situation changed when I realised that I was a carrier of the virus. I realized that while we as the media have been vocal demanding that our politicians should come into the open declaring their HIV status, we have not lead by example.

Ironically, while it may be true that our friends in the political circles, I am sure,might be highly infected by the virus, the media it self would have been one of the professions that would register more cases if the testing process was to be made mandatory.
I now know how it is heartless to reduce persons living with HIV to their sexuality as they still remain productive citizens needing the same rights to health care and protection as everybody else.

For me, it now sounds illogical for the media to start lobbying that members of the legislator should go for tests and disclose their HIV status while the media itself has been entwined in a cushion of confidentiality.

I am HIV positive myself and, having been one of the journalists that have for a while been reporting on HIV and AIDS, find it absurd that we keep on reporting on ending HIV and AIDS-based stigma and discrimination, while we may have are to blame for some of the stereo typing that have created the problem. Imagine, during my last visit to Blantyre I told one of my close friends in the media, Richard Chirombo that I wanted to come into the openabout my HIV status.

It astounded me that Richard, while accepting that declaring one’s HIV status was the only way of ending the problem of HIV and AIDS-based stigma and discrimination, did not support the idea, arguing that as soon as

I did that all my colleagues would segregate me.

I liked Richard's straight forward advice. It actually reflected that asmedia practitioners, we have been doing HIV and AIDS stories to make our bread and butter. We have been in the forefront telling the nation the importance of going for an HIV test and, possibly, disclosing our sero status, yet we have not been ready to do so ourselves.

But why is the media not leading by example, by disclosing the HIV sero status of members within the profession?

Is it that there are no HIV cases within the profession?
Honestly, may be there are many HIV and AIDS cases in the media but we have chosen to remain in the cocoon.

I was surprised myself to see that when the advertisement for membership into the Network of Journalists Living with HIV was floated less than 10 journalists registered.
As a Person Living With HIV, I have discovered how normal life can still go on if you accept your status. You can love (I have a lover) and do your ‘duties’ as you used to do before.

To explicitly, end this article I would urge my fellow media practitioners that are paid up NAMISA members to seriously discuss and emphasize on HIV and AIDS matters on world press freedom day. Remember, we are all vulnerable.